Am I selfish?

Okay. I think I should say everything out now. Maybe after I typed out all the things in my mind, I might be much clearer and I would know what should I do..

I always think that it's a very wonderful miracle when someone you like confessed to you and he wanted to be with you. But now, I hope this miracle wouldn't happen to me. Because of this incident, I'hv made a lot of stupid and wrong decision, and I also hurt someone that actually care for me..

 I always think that if I can act more dumb and stupid, I wouldn't face the cruel of the truth. But I was so wrong. I'm just act like I don't know but actually I know it and I can feel it.

I'm so sorry. I shouldn't be so playful.. I shouldn't give you that paper just for fun, especially when it's Valentine that day. If I'm more mature, I wouldn't act cute in front of you... So you wouldn't care me or even like me.Then you might not be so hurt... And see what I'hv done now? I hurt you so badly and you still have to act like there's nothing wrong. Now, you started to ignore me. I'm so regret now, but what can I do? I keep on asking myself, is there necessary to make our friendship ends up like this? But everything is just too late. What can I do? I don't even dare to talk to you now.. I'm so sorry....

For the one who I actually like, I wish to be with you. Really... But you know? You just confess to a girl few weeks ago and now it's me. I not sure that you really liked me or you have some other reasons to be with me... You make me feel so insecure. Should I decline you so that he wouldn't hurt so much, or be with you so to satisfied my wish? I wish after I'hv made a decision, it wouldn't hurt both of you so much..

I'm sorry for writting such a moody post...

Yesh I'm back! (for awhile) XD

Hey yeah, I'm back! Yeah, so keep calm and gimme money!
Nahh, I'm just joking ^^
This is the first post after my Mid-Term exam.
Haha. There's a lot of things happened in these few months
and I feel kinda lost.

Firstly, I'm so happy that I could get into the class I loved a lot.
I can sit with my bestfriend,
get to know more new friends that doesn't irritates me
Although I was listed as bad student by those teachers
but I'm still lovin' it and I'm enjoying it.

But..
I don't know how to say.
There's a lot of things in my mind.
but I could't clear it up.
everything is just happened suddenly.

I'm very confuse and lost now
I might trying to write out what is happening
when my brain is much clearer
and the timing is right
because there's some construction beside my house
it's very annoying and noisy

So, that's all for today.
BAH-YEE!